I have so many examples, I don’t even know where to start from. The generation I talk about is my generation, and even before that. Perhaps, in families other than mine, girls have a little more advantage and are free to do whatever they want, also known as ‘living their dreams’. Perhaps, it depends on the kind of parents you have; the liberal sorts will let you be who you are and the ones influenced by society and relatives too soon will not let you follow your dreams.
Coming from a typical Pakistani family, I found it quite hard to follow my dream, my passion; in other words the reason for my existence. Music has always been there to heal my soul, come what may. Whether it was a heart-break, or things falling apart generally, music has always been there to heal the wounds.
When asked what I wanted to become when I grew up, I’d always shout ‘a singer!’ 16 years later, I’m still struggling to get there.
Had it all been about supportive family and relatives, I wouldn’t be so unfulfilled and empty inside. Sometimes I find solace in singing for my friends, or in learning instruments, or watching people sing online, not to mention movies and biographies on musicians that changed the world.
I see how Mozart’s father helped him in becoming one of the world’s best composer/musician/pianist and what not. So many other examples where people have been absolutely free to follow their talent, and have shined and prospered to the BEST of their abilities.
How can you take away the ability of a human being just like that, for the fulfilment of your own desires from that human being, or for the fulfilment of society’s wishes? Do you take a financial loan from society to live your daily life, or do you have to be answerable to them in any way? Why is it that we cut off the feathers of our females before they can perform to the best of their abilities, and don’t do the same for male members of the family? Why is privilege so biased, why so gender-biased?
Hate to say it, but I know that if I were to be somewhere, I would’ve been there, had I not sacrificed on alot of things for the happiness of others.
Call me a self-centered female, or whatever, but I do believe that if you don’t follow your heart, you will ALWAYS remain unhappy. Sacrificing what you love for others, is a game for only the really genuinely angelic human beings like Edhi, or Mother Teresa; I’m sure you get the picture. For me, I switch jobs on a monthly basis, trying to find the ‘fulfillment’ I need but never actually getting there. The sad part is, I even know the reason why, but I just can’t seem to do it, because I fear rejection by society, by family, by people I love the most.
It is a game of sacrifice for Pakistani girls. Those who come from conservative families are more usually not allowed to pursue higher education or to go to outings with friends, let alone pursue careers of their choice. The maximum freedom some of the girls get is to go to college or if in the shape of a career, are offered to become a teacher so that ‘their kids may be at an advantage later on too.’
Do girls not have hearts? Do they not have dreams, ambitions, goals? Do they not close their eyes and see themselves somewhere, making history or making a change in the lives of millions? Why then, is a man allowed to follow his passion and a woman is degraded and looked down in society for pursuing what she wants? Does she not have the same set of vocal chords that a man has for pursuing singing? Does she not have the enchanting beauty, height and attitude a male model has? Does she not have the same expressions, feelings and way to inspire people with her acting skills? I do not understand the difference, but I just know that it is a sad society and even sadder are those people who regret having listened to society later on in their lives, when they know they could’ve been somewhere.
Instead of blaming and sulking, pull your socks up, and practice your passion one day at a time. If God wills, you will be where you want to be, and you will not have to be empty anymore, I promise you, girls. 🙂 Just stay focused and true to your goals. Have day to day goals, minute to minute goals, because as Denzel Washington once inspired me, he said ‘dreams, without goals, will always remain dreams.’ 🙂 They key to your dreams is consistency, so be consistent, and remain focused.
Good luck and bless all of you out there who are struggling for something. Let not society dictate to you who you should be, and just be your true, authentic self. 🙂 -Sana