Why can’t I help that Uncle going home walking on his own with so many groceries? He seems like he wouldn’t mind a helping hand. He seems tired and he’s alone, Why can’t I go and help him? Because I’m a girl.
That’s what you get to hear in Pakistan, all the damn time. You’re a girl, you can’t do this. You’re a girl, you can’t do that. Why not? What’s wrong? The problem? Well, you’re a girl.
Oh, and it’s allright if it’s a he, because you know, he’s a male. And males in this society generally can do just about anything, and get away with it.
So girls, please crush your dreams and just sit there, sulking over it. Lower your gaze to the next man your mother and father choose for you in an arranged marriage, and accept your defeat. Forget your dreams forever, for they were a girl’s dreams, never to be fulfilled.
Why do I still feel the drive within me? Like I came to this world to do something. Like I have a purpose, like this passion inside me will never end. I don’t think it will. And it keeps me going. I stumble, I fall, I hurt myself, but I carry on. I don’t give up, because my life has a purpose. It is not a waste, and will neither be wasted.
Sometimes, I look out my rickshaw and i see the people working in the mornings. when I’m on my way to University. Some of them are mowing the ground and some of them are just lying there. And i look at the kids playing with torn kites, trying to fly them still.
And I have a feeling that one day, I’ll be doing something for these people to make them happy. What It is, I just dont know yet. When the time will come I will but I have always had a strong feeling that my soul has a purpose. That it was not sent here in this world without a fulfilling, selfless purpose.
And maybe I’m supposed to be someone some day. I’ll share my experiences with people then. And tell them how I got here and what were the obstacles and I’ll help out young girls achieve their dreams. Ofcourse, I’ll tell them how this all was a dream once and that on my way to University every morning, I had these thoughts that I kept to myself, until today.
I guess this is what they call ‘drive’. Passion. Something that keeps you going. The light within you that shows through your eyes, the energy that runs through your entire being, the hunger that exists in the pit of your stomach, the never ending hunger.
Suddenly, it is your entire Universe and suddenly, it grasps you in its powerful hands and you cannot, in any way, release yourself from it. And after a while you slither out of the grasp, but you don’t forget what happened to you. You have experienced the dream, you have lived it in your head and you cannot get out of it, unless you make it your reality.
So there. Stopping by to help that Uncle with his groceries, for me, isn’t a big deal at all. And everything in one way or another, comes out of my daily experiences. I just wish that people would stop thinking so much and do something for other people. Think less, do more, that’s the theory. But then again, there are monsters in this society known as the “Judgers”, and because of these monsters people have lost their confidence in themselves, and many have resorted to the peaceful but less satisfying way of life, finally doing something that is ‘acceptable in society’.
Sure, doing something that is acceptable in society isn’t a bad thing at all, but how long will it keep your soul happy? The person you are inside? It doesn’t keep me very happy, and I beg to differ from those people who say that sacrificing your dreams for the sake of other people would bring you mental peace. How? If they could just explain to me once.
Being a strong believer of karma, I believe in not hurting other people, and not harming anyone. Apart from that, all I do is and should be completely acceptable, because it makes me the person I am, and if it makes me the person I am, then it is bound to make me happy. Your dreams are yours solely, it is not important and possible, at the same time, that they make your parents or your siblings or your family or your society or the whole of this world happy. And they will never. But we are here, in this world, to make a difference, why not reflect within ourselves, do something for our sake so that we may be able to offer a helping hand to people in need later?
Why is it a big crime for a woman in this part of the world to follow her dreams? I may have answered this question a million times and asked people a few trillion times with dozens of replies from them, but this question haunts me till now. I’m just being rational. If I don’t follow my dreams, how am I supposed to be happy?
Being rational is a big deal where I live, because I’m a woman. Nevertheless, I won’t stop fighting.