I shivered a bit as the cold, chilly air gave me goosebumps all over my body. The night air was peaceful, calm; I felt that everything was allright, and for a moment I forgot that I was in the most complicated situation and had to face it, tonight. Yes, I was with the man I loved, in his car, on our way to his house. The family had gone for a vacation to some place far, for a few days atleast.
Why was I doing this? Was this going to change anything? No. Nothing at all. And yet, I wanted to go there. To get deep into his thoughts and his mind, to make him addicted to me. I wanted to be his drug, something he yearned for. Something he would never want to let go. It was possible, and it was impossible at the same time, but at that moment all I could think about was living in it, and not caring about the rest. Yes, it was the deadliest of moments, and I wanted to walk right through it, just the way I had imagined it a million times in my mind, over and over again.
I wanted to confront him, to be able to look him in the eyes and tell him whatever I felt. I hadn’t done that in the longest time. We were just friends, and not just friends at that, really good friends for the past couple of months, and life just seemed to get trickier and complicated every single day. I felt the warmth and the coziness and all the love in my soul and all the love in the air and everything around me, for a moment I forgot that I was a part of this world and just disappeared into the night skies. Looking out the window at the stars, yes, that’s where I wanted to be. Or maybe I was, because I was with the man I loved.
But why doesn’t he know? Can’t he feel it? It was killing me inside. He finally parked the car and I got out of the car, slowly and steadily. I was a little tipsy, not too much. We had had a few drinks at the bar and everything just felt even more beautiful than it actually was. Or maybe it was, because of him. I watched him fumble with his keys a bit, we were planning to spend some time together and play games and he’d drop me home later because I had work in the morning. I think he knows, deep down, that I am gonna tell him something tonight..I thought to myself. He opened the door and helped me in.
Entering the house, I had this sudden urge to see it all. Go through each and every room, through each and every part of his house to feel what its like to be living there with him. I went to the kitchen, went through the hallways and into the rooms, and I think he got busy checking the door locks on all the doors. I finally got back to the Tv Room where he sat with his shoes off, easing himself onto a nearby sofa and playing games on his PlayStation.
“I like your house, its so neat and cosy,” I said, trying not to sound too drunk. He looked at me and smiled, I could tell he felt it. I believe in vibes, and at that moment I was giving away too many of them, strong ones at that.
“Come here, be easy. Lets play some games,” he chuckled and winked at me, something he’d do that would always make my heart skip a beat. “Tonight, I won’t be able to sit next to you,” I told him. He looked at me a bit, and judging by his reaction he was being unable to understand what I meant. “Which is because?” he demanded an answer. I liked how he was being demanding. Hell, I just liked everything he said and did. I started feeling the edge of this shelf filled with books nearby, and at that moment I had this sudden urge to tell him to kiss me. But I was scared, I didn’t wanna ruin it for the both of us, and I wanted him so bad. So I stopped. “What is it?” He stood up, pausing his video game and coming towards me slowly. I looked him in the eyes, I think I didn’t need to say anything, my eyes were expressive enough. He slowly came towards me. Time stood still, I couldn’t hear anything, the drinks hadn’t worn off and I shivered a bit. He came close, and I lowered my gaze, and at that moment he stood really close to me, and I closed my eyes because I didn’t know what else to do. I felt his hands touch my waist softly, yes, that’s exactly where I wanted them to be. I didn’t look up, I wanted to feel each and every bit of it, without opening my eyes for even a minute. I wanted to savour the moment, not knowing whether it would come again or not. I wanted to live that moment in that house and let him feel all the love and how he made me feel. “You’re shaking,” he said softly in my ear, and kissed my forehead. “I think its because you’re holding me,” I said, and with that I stared into his eyes and told him to kiss me. “What do you want me to do, “ he asked, and I could tell he wanted me at that moment, right there. “Anything and everything,” I said, as I unbuttoned his shirt. He smiled at me and I smiled back, and the moonlight shone on the boulders outside the house, and it shone onto the mountains, and it was the most beautiful view I had ever seen, and I was right there and the moment was right then, with the man I loved.